I must confess I am at feeling overwhelmed. Maybe this is why my writing has suffered.
The passion to write has not gone away. If anything it has grown stronger and yet I find myself writing less and less despite my spoken and written statements that I will get more of it done. For the current novel I’d set my sights on having it done by the end of August. This doesn’t seem possible to me now. By the end of this month I’d hoped to have the submission papers ready for an agent. Although I’ve made headway on that, getting five of the six requirements done, my feet (fingers?) are dragging on the last one. I’m not sure why. This whole thing means the world to me. Writing is my world, my greatest passion and something I have longed to do but since I was nine.
I want to get ‘That’s What Shadows Are Made Of’ done.
I want to get the agent papers done.
I want to finish with the illustrations for “Bill, The Worm Who Ran Away”.
I want to work on the two ghost stories I have in mind.
I want to get “Speeding Chicken By Road” and “Cecil B. Snail” written down.
And with all this going on in my head, I can’t focus on the Top Two on the list. I gather my materials and I sit down at my desk then all the ‘oomph’ just kinda gets sucked out of me for some reason. It’s frustrating, at times to the point of tears. A perfect example is this very moment where I am blogging about not being able to work on the stuff I should be and blogging instead! Argh! Insanity!
I’m really liking how “…Shadows” is turning out so it’s not like I’ve lost interest in it. I wrote up some outline notes for future chapters. My constant thoughts of “Gotta get it done, gotta get it done…” have paralyzed me at the keyboard for anything beyond what I consider for myself to be fluff. Everyone else seems to have such interesting things to say in their Blogs. Mine feels more like a Blargh. Not sure what goes on in my life that anyone else would really be all that interested in knowing about.
And so.. I am overwhelmed. Everything feels like it’s on a deadline and if I don’t do it now, it won’t get done in time… in time for what? Mortality? Now, there’s a cheerful topic! NOT.
I feel your pain. I was hoping to have a major project ready for beta readers by the first week in August but I’m not confident I’m going to get there. (And here I am reading blogs.) Focus, keep trying, That’s what I’m going to do.
Thanks, Renae. It feels like one of those nights when you are having trouble sleeping. The more you think about not being able to sleep, the harder time you have getting to sleep. The more I think about wanting to write, the harder it becomes for me to do it. Need to just stop worrying about it and let the Muse do her thing when she’s good and ready to do it.