The End Is Nigh.

Writer's Life

The end is nigh.

In less than 18 hours, 2018 will be over. Thanks be to God.

Looking back on what has been for the past 364 days, I can’t help but feel a bit disappointed in what I’ve been able to accomplish. Maybe I ask too much of myself. What I consider my best novel to-date, “Dark Hollow Road”, came out this past spring. Yes, I know to complete a novel is considered a huge accomplishment and I’m not saying that it isn’t. I’m super proud of that book, yet I’m still disappointed. Sales have been horrible for all my titles this year – absolutely abysmal – and I think that’s where my mood truly lies. Not in “Dark Hollow Road” specifically, but the overall feeling of not being good enough, yet again. So few sales, even fewer reviews. Artists can be so self deprecating, so full of doubts and insecurities that we often don’t recognize the greatness of what we’ve accomplished. Instead, we look at how we’ve failed. Case in point …

In 2018, I completed Part 2 of The Witch’s Backbone and had all intentions of getting it out there in the fall. Instead, I submitted it with a great deal of encouragement by a fellow writer to a publisher on the threadbare hopes that it, along with Part 1, would be good enough. It wasn’t. Fail.

In 2018, I started to write another book in the Barnesville Chronicles – “312 Seymour Drive”. Twenty chapters or so in, I lost all control of the thing as it spiraled into something I couldn’t give a direction to. My focus was lost. The story is rambling with too much going on and I’ve still no idea how or where to pull it back so I can get on with it.  Fail.

In 2018, after the disaster of 312 Seymour Drive, I decided to finally get my shit together and work on that collection of short stories and poems I’ve been wanting to do for a very long time. I had some new short stories floating around. There was one I wrote some 20+ years ago I really wanted to give a spit-shine to. I was super excited about the whole project and was thinking how great it would be to have a little something out before Christmas. Nope, didn’t happen. Oh, it’s done – more or less – I do need to go through a printed copy and edit and was never able to get a cover concept that I really liked, so… there it sits. Fail.

In 2018, one of ‘my’ sweet crows mysteriously died in the neighbor’s yard. We’ve had no real neighbors on that side for about three years due to a house fire. It’s being renovated very, very slowly, so it was nothing anyone did over there. Will never know what happened, but the end result is that the small murder of 5-6 birds that used to come around daily for peanuts and crow chow, has vanished – POOF! – I’ve not seen them since. It’s been three months. I’m told this is typical behavior and to be patient and all sorts of advice from other corvid enthusiasts. So, three years of work and yup – feels like another fail to me.

In 2018, we made an epic journey way out to southwest Texas to be part of the Day of the Dead celebration in Terlingua Ghost Town. I needed to go there as part of my research for yet another book idea. I was inspired beyond my wildest dreams. I took tons of pictures and wrote page after page of notes. I was all gung-ho for weeks after we got back and then … it all came to a screeching halt when a Christmas-themed short story hit me. Which, by the way, I’ve not finished yet, either. Double fail.

In 2018, I did manage to get out ten author interviews and write up some book reviews. I was even interviewed once myself. I watched a few movies, but not as many as I would have liked. I read a lot, too. Recently, I picked up a paintbrush again – something I’ve not done in a good ten years – and completed two small paintings. That’s something, I suppose. I’ve been dubbed ‘Queen of Horror Cults’ by none other than, Monster Man & Final Guy, Horror author Hunter Shea.  Pretty sure nobody else out there can say that. I’ve also managed to keep not just one, but two, succulent gardens not just merely alive, but thriving. That’s pretty mind-blowing if you know my history with houseplants. It’s not good, people. It’s not good at all.

Needless to say, the cons far outweigh the pros when it comes to 2018. I wish I could look back at it all and somehow view it in a more positive light. If I could see it as laying groundwork for the potential greatness of 2019 instead of merely a series of failures, that sure would help.

I know this isn’t the usual upbeat end of year review most people write, but I’m just being honest here. I’d love to end of a happy note, but to quote Eeyore, “We can’t all and some of us don’t. That’s all there is to it.”

The end if nigh.

In less than 18 hours, 2018 will be over. Thanks be to God.

P.S. – After I finished writing this, I went out to the kitchen in search of my missing, now cold, cup of coffee. While I waited the minute it took to heat it back up in the microwave, I went to the window over the sink – and almost immediately found myself in tears. Guess who was out there noshing on the peanuts, crow chow, and bits of leftover Cornish game hen I’d tossed out before I sat down to write? Three of my beloved crows. Yes, I’m taking this as a sign that 2019 will be so much better! 😀

 

Top Ten Reads Of 2018

Top 10 Reads of 2018

Managed to squeeze in nearly 30 books for the 2018 reading season. Now, as the year comes to a close, it’s time to whittle those down to my Top 10. It wasn’t easy. I read a lot of great books, some mediocre ones, and frankly, some crap. We’re going to skip the crap and get right to the good stuff.

Threading_PalmatierNumber 10:
Threading the Needle by Joshua Palmatier –

“Second book in Joshua Palmatier’s epic fantasy trilogy, set in a sprawling city of light and magic fueled by a ley line network.”

These are thick, serious, epic Fantasy tomes, kids, with a somewhat Sci-Fi feel to them – neither of which is really my favored genre. However, Palmatier has a knack for drawing me in and making me forget that. Being such hearty books, Book 2 comes in at 487 pages, there are also a lot of characters which I sometimes had a hard time keeping track of. Josh does get a bit rambling in this series, which is why it didn’t make it higher on the list, but still a compelling series of story lines and characters to move those plots along just fine. Those who are into Fantasy will certainly enjoy this and the other two books – (I’m currently reading Book 3) – along with Palmatier’s other titles and trilogies.

WarTruth_NugentNumber 9:
The War For Truth by Jason J. Nugent –

“The situation grows dire. Queen Anastasia orders the destruction of the Forgotten and turns her attention to the colonies. They must be forced into submission. Her reign depends on it.”

The final book in Jason’s YA The Forgotten Chronicles series wraps up the storyline perfectly. Again, another author who has really helped me to appreciate the Sci-Fi genre in ways I never imagined possible. Though there’s future tech, Jason keeps it simple enough so I don’t get lost in the jargon, and focuses on the characters, their relationships, and their trials and tribulations – as any good book should. This is a YA series, so it may not be for more hardcore readers of the genre, but for me, a novice, I truly enjoyed the ride Nugent took me on with these books.

SkyWoman_JDMoyerNumber 8:
The Sky Woman by J.D. Moyer –

“Car-En, a ringstation anthropologist on her first Earth field assignment, observes a Viking-like village in the Harz mountains. As Car-En secretly observes the Happdal villagers, she begins to see them as more than research subjects (especially Esper, a handsome bowhunter).”

This will round up my 2018 foray into the Sci-Fi genre.
Another great, character driven read mingled with a touch of fantasy. I loved that there was a well-rounded, strong, female lead in this. She really carried the story through. I do have to admit that when it came to the more technological aspects of the book, I did a touch more skimming than I normally do, but I wanted to get back to what was happening on Future Earth! Very well written and the most enjoyable Sci-Fi book I read all year.

SevenMasterpiecesNumber 7:
Seven Masterpieces of Gothic Horror : Clara Reeve, Matthew Lewis, Edgar Allan Poe, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Mary Shelley, Horace Walpole, and Sheridan Le Fanu. –

As a Horror writer, I think it’s important to know from where my preferred genre arose. I’ve been a fan of Poe, Stoker, and Collins for years, but hadn’t gone to the very beginning.  Horace Walpole and Clara Reeve are considered the creators of Gothic Horror, publishing within twenty years of each other, Walpole in 1764 with The Castle of Otranto in 1764 and Reeve in 1778 with The Old English Baron (both included in this anthology). Some of the stories I was less than impressed with, while others really kept me engaged all the way through. I’d consider this essential reading for any fan of Gothic Horror.

mouthdark_waggonerNumber 6:
The Mouth of the Dark by Tim Waggoner –

“Jayce’s 20-year-old daughter, Emory, is missing, lost in a dark, dangerous realm called Shadow that exists alongside our own reality. An enigmatic woman named Nicola guides Jayce through this bizarre world, and together, they search for Emory, facing deadly dog-eaters, crazed killers, homicidal sex toys, and – worst of all – a monstrous being known as the Harvest Man.“

A desperate father’s search for his missing daughter takes him into a bizarre underworld that isn’t too far removed from our own. I loved this book. It’s dark, suspenseful and fast-paced, unique and delightfully original. This one was of those books I went to bed thinking about and woke up eager to dive back into.

Shoel_BrantNumber 5:
Sheol (West of Hell #3) by Jason Brant –

“After escaping the decimated town of Gehenna and the mighty Tartarus River, Karen finds herself trapped in a prison in the city of Sheol. Knowing that an army of the dead is marching across the desert behind her, Karen must find a way to escape the sadistic Evans, and rally the citizens of Sheol for one last stand against an enemy of biblical proportions.”

It’s the Wild West with all the usual dangers plus zombies. LOTS of zombies. I guess this was the year of trilogies for me as this is the final book in Jason’s West of Hell series. Very quick and enjoyable reads – along with a bit of humor tossed in to help lighten the flesh-eating mood. Looking forward to getting into another Brant series next year.

MailOrder_SheaNumber 4:
Mail Order Massacres by Hunter Shea –

“Sea monkeys. 3-D specs. Hypno-coins. Ant farms. Kryptonite rocks. Miniature submarines made from cardboard. All available for a buck or less from the back page of comic books. And we blew our weekly allowance on these rip-offs, only to be disappointed when they turned out to be total crap.”

These three short stories were a riot! Hunter is an ace at injecting humor into the most dreadful and horrific of scenarios. People of a certain age, who grew up reading comic books and longing for those novelty items advertised at the end, will find these especially fun. This book was my husband’s first foray into the demented world of Shea. Hunter twists those innocent days into living nightmares while laughing all the way to the often deadly end.

SecondChild_SaulNumber 3:
Second Child by John Saul –

“This lush, secluded Maine seaside resort is the summer playground of the super rich, but one hundred years ago, something disturbed their play. Horror came to this village. And though no one knows it yet, the horror has never left.”

I read quite a few John Saul books back in my teenage years and this is my second revisit to his writing this year. Though a bit disappointed in the first book, Second Child was a super compelling read. It’s really a YA book and not overly scary, but the weird behaviors of the characters and their circumstances kept my attention like few other books have done in 2018. Once I started, I just had to keep going. I had to know what was going on and how it would all end.

Sharkwater_MeyerNumber 2:
Sharkwater Beach by Tim Meyer –

“Beneath the warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico, the biggest predator on the planet hunts, craving the flesh and blood of every creature it can sink its teeth into.”

You may think you’re reading a book about killer sharks, you may be right – but you’re also very wrong. These are no ordinary ginormous, human-chomping creatures of the deep. Great, gory, sometimes humorous adventure awaits you if you decide to dive into this one. I don’t want to say too much as I don’t want to give the twist away but you’re in for a big surprise when you get to it.

creature-coverNumber 1:
Creature by Hunter Shea –

“The monsters live inside of Kate Woodson. Chronic pain and a host of autoimmune diseases have robbed her of a normal, happy life. Her husband Andrew’s surprise of their dream Maine lake cottage for the summer is the gift of a lifetime. It’s beautiful, remote, idyllic, a place to heal. But they are not alone.”

Hunter has quickly risen to become one of my favorite modern-day Horror authors. I can’t say enough good things about his work. He tackles ghosts and demons along with a myriad of crytids that want nothing more than to rip out the throats of those who dare seek them out and hunt them down. “Creature” – though written with the same enthusiasm and excellence as Shea’s other books – is different.  The story and characters brought me to tears at the end, literally. The usual Shea humor is held in check. This is serious and I was reeling when I got to the final pages while simultaneously reaching for a box of tissues. AMAZING book. I can’t recommend it and the author enough. READ IT! You’ll have zero regrets.

That wraps it up for this year. I’m already over 150 pages into another Joshua Palmatier novel and I see Jason Brant in the TBR pile for 2019 from here.

Hope you all have a wonderful Holiday season and that the new year fills your life with more good books than bad. Keep it Horror-able, folks!

Planning Adventures.

As I write this Sunday afternoon in December, the SUN IS SHINING! It’s something we haven’t seen much of  in the past few weeks so after this little blurb, I plan on going outside for a bit to enjoy it while it’s there. It’s freakin’ cold for too long and the days are so short this time of year, every drop of sunlight counts to get me through the darkness.

Some of you may be aware of the plans my husband and I have of moving out to Texas after I reach 55. That’s a lot closer than I care to admit. I’d be a liar if I said I’m not scared at the idea at all. Frankly, I’m pretty terrified! I’ve never lived more than thirty miles from the small town I grew up in. My family has been in this area since the late 1700s. My roots are very, very deep in this little pocket of the world and the fear of becoming homesick runs pretty high.  BUT … it’s one of those things in life my Heart tells me I want to experience. I have to try! I’d regret it for the rest of my life if I don’t.

JohnsonCityTX

LBJ Ranch in Johnson City, TX

My first trip was in January 2013 when I bought a one-way ticket to Austin! We did all the tourist things! Visiting the capital building, checking out Luckenbach, Waco, The Dr. Pepper Museum, the Texas Ranger Museum, and me just being amazed it’s not all desert! This was also the year that marked my not-yet-husband moving to New York so we could be together.

SaladoCreekHouse

Salado Creek House, Salado, TX

We went twice in 2014. Once in July then again in October. These were not the happiest of times as my husband’s father was very ill and we were going to see him while we still could. The second trip was actually for the funeral. Despite that, we did our best to keep the trip positive and went out exploring, finding this little gem of an abandoned house by the creek one afternoon.

WSMR

Down there is where my life story began, White Sands, NM

A third trip in 2015 included Oklahoma and New Mexico. This was the dream trip of a lifetime. My dad was in the Army and stationed at White Sands Missile Range in New Mexico when I was born, but the family moved back east when I was only six months old. Growing up I always talked about going back. I wanted more than just pictures of the place and myself as an infant. I wanted my own memories. In some strange way, I have always thought of the place as being home just as much as where I’ve spent the majority of my life living. Meeting a man who spent all his high school years and then some living there, too, was not a coincidence. So, off we went!

BigBend

In Big Bend National Park

There was a wedding to fund in 2016 which postponed another trip until just this past October-November. Each time I grow to love the landscape more and more. The more wild and desolate and desert-y it is, the more I seem to like it. I’m totally in love with the west Texas desert and were I a rich woman, you’d bet I’d have a home out there. Full time living, maybe not, but a couple months out of the year, you bet!

Terlingua

Terlingua, Texas

What is it about this place that inspires the artist in me so much? Story ideas come to me constantly. I want to set up an art studio and paint! I want to take up basket weaving and try my hand at making pottery. The colors are so vibrant that if I didn’t think it would drive everyone else in the house mad, it would all be bursting at the seams here. It’s already infiltrating my New York home, but I want more!!

And then … The Fear comes rolling in, the thoughts of swapping out the home I’ve always known for the one I dream of.  I don’t know where this journey is taking me, but I know I can’t back away from it. It’s there. It’s nagged me for over fifty years. The adventure is waiting. I need to take it and see what happens despite the terror that wells up inside me every time I think about it. Facing fears in the past has always led me down some pretty awesome paths and once in motion, things were NEVER has scary as I imagined them to be.

And so, as the furnace kicks on to keep away the cold and the sun is still shining, I’m thinking of the warmth and the future and facing another of life’s fears with the promise of dreams coming true. They certainly won’t if I don’t give them a shot, will they? Here’s to the fast-approaching new year and each day that pulls me ever closer to another of my life’s greatest adventures!

Be well, all – or should I say y’all to get myself into the habit?